He Needed Others

Not too long ago, my co-worker Kathy received this spam in her work email. When she showed it to me, i was struck in such a profound way...it's very inspirational, for, you know, spam. I had her print it out for me and i ran around the lab quoting it at other coworkers like it was the lost Shakespeare masterpiece or something.


From: Ime Jubb [ime.jubb@news.midtown.net]
Sent: Friday, April 30, 2010 9:55 AM
To: [removed]
Subject: very slipped going great

going in as had purse great going motor
school on luncheon great me person deal porter
alone much has others deal it as top he on main much ten dollars ten dollars and on had after luncheon and going and only motor me person has person only dollars very He the dollars also bought the after only paid has had in others deal on as word only paid also He later person the dollars the and ten on later word as great and and and had luncheon on purse bought the my alone top deal great he great ten after purse He needed others


Isn't that amazing? I mean, if you have me read that out loud, i think it really gains something, because the simple words on paper or a computer screen really lack the inflection that it needs to truly come alive. Lisa and i set about trying to translate its magnificence into something that would be a little more obvious to persons who don't have our unique perspective, but by now i've mostly forgotten Lisa's brilliant insights. So here's how i interpret this:

He secured his purse as he went in on his great motorcycle, its powerful engine pulsating beneath him. This school was widely known for its luncheons, where they served a hearty porter ale at a good deal. Though he was alone and liked it that way, his chosen course of action meant he'd have to deal with others.

At the top of his mind was how to score as much of that ale as possible. He knew the school would be strict about it. Upon arrival, he inquired directly.

"Ten dollars," they replied.

"Ten dollars!" he exclaimed. And on and on he raved. But he went to the luncheon anyway.

After the luncheon, going was the next order of business. Only his motorcycle, could he think of. But a person blocked his way. It was me.

"Have you only dollars?" i asked.

"Very few."

He gave me the dollars and bought several pints of ale. He also bought my trust, as only after he'd paid would others give him ale. But we had made a deal on his words; that was all he needed to pay me. He would be by later with more dollars: ten. His later words were of gratitude, and as great as i could have ever imagined. We had another luncheon, bought from his purse, to celebrate that this alone was the top greatest deal.

"He's great," i would often say of him thereafter.

He gave me another ten after the luncheon, again from his purse, and i gave him more ale, because of course, he needed others.