5. Nintendo Girl
I like to watch her score
Her score is higher than mine
It’s all in her beautiful thumbs
I’d like to take her to World 9
My princess is in this castle
Now i know that i don’t need to go through another level
Up up down down left right left right B A select start - that’s the key to her heart
Now i know that i don’t need to go to another castle
I put on her Power Glove (it’s so bad!)
And it fit just right
She took controller #1
I was her Luigi all night
Game Genie gave us infinite lives
There’s lots of co-op in our plans
When she scores, she’ll do it with me
We have an 8-bit romance
--
I think the title of this one kind of says it all. It’s a love song about a girl who’s really into the Nintendo. Although my girlfriend was always a Sega girl, and we’re both primarily Xbox players now. Nintendo just makes for such better references. I don’t think i could do a love song with Halo references.
“Her score is higher than mine” - My girlfriend’s gamerscore is higher than mine, actually. By about 2000.
“Take her to World 9” - there were only 8 worlds in the original Super Mario Bros. game. So presumably, World 9 is where you go after you rescue the princess.
Line 3 in the chorus is the Konami code. If you’re unfamiliar, you’re going to have to look this one up.
“I put on her Power Glove and it fit just right” - the rare triple entendre! First of all, there’s the actual power glove, a bizarre accessory for the NES that was actually kind of a predecessor to the Wii, but 20 years earlier. Second, it means condom. You should have gotten that one. Thirdly, as a videographer who went through a respected film school, this is also in fact a reference to the film On The Waterfront. Marlon Brando FTW!
“I put on her Power Glove (it’s so bad!)” - A reference to the film The Wizard, a film from the late 80s that was basically a 90 minute Nintendo commercial, spotlighting the Power Glove. “I love the Power Glove - it’s so bad” would go on to become an internet meme two decades later.
“She took controller #1, i was her Luigi all night” - Please tell me you get this one. If you don’t, i’m so old. In Super Mario Bros., controller #1 was Mario, #2 was Luigi. I think this was true of all of the NES Mario games except for Mario 2.
“Game Genie gave us infinite lives” - Same qualifier as above. Game Genie was an add-on that would allow you to input cheat codes before you even accessed the game, most commonly stuff like infinite lives. This is also a metaphor for marriage, or something like it.
“We have an 8-bit romance” - The original Nintendo system had an 8-bit processor. That may not even mean anything to the kids these days... In the old days of gaming (read: the 90s), systems were made or broken by the bits in their processors. Nintendo even spotlighted its huge processor with the Nintendo 64, which had (surprise!) a 64-bit processor.
Punk Rock Now
There’s too much water in the Kool-Aid and it kind of tastes like crap
All the hipsters are asking their doctors to smear them for pap
We’re part of Generation Poser - there’s not much left to say
The last original song is already brittle and gray
It’s like i’m drowning in this Kool-Aid, and it kind of tastes like filth
Since when does punk rock have to do with wealth?
If you can’t do it yourself, don’t do it at all
Punk rock does not come from the mall
Here in this punk rock now
Music to slit your wrists to don’t appeal to me
If i cannot enjoy it, it doesn’t fill my needs
Yeah, i’ve got nothing nice to say about the emo kids
But that’s probably exactly the way that they want this
I see you rocking the same haircut that your mommy did
When she was 15, living at home, reference ibid
It’s not a question of your generation
It’s interference from corporations
Here in this punk rock now
Forget your punk rock now
Crap on your punk rock now
Bollocks to punk rock now
Fuck your punk rock
--
This song is largely about Hot Topic, and such. The manufacture of punk bands for a pop audience has bothered many for a long time. Punk used to be a genuine, underground, DIY movement, and then it got subsidized. I think it reached a nadir in the mid-00s, when i was watching TV and a fucking commercial came on for a band of 14 year olds dressed in leather with mohawks, doing music that could only be considered punk in its simple chord arrangements. They were called Detention or some such thing, i’m not really sure, i just remember it was a reference to getting in trouble at your middle school.
“There’s too much water in the Kool-Aid” - You know how that goes. Here, the Kool-Aid means punk culture, and there’s too much Simple Plan in it.
“All the hipster boys are asking their doctors to smear them for pap” - I’m hoping this is being read somewhere in the far future, where hipsters have been forgotten. It’s like Mitch Clem once said, “There’s something wrong with your scene when the easiest way to get into a girl’s pants is to get into girl pants.”
“Since when does punk rock have to do with wealth?” - SELLOUTZ
“If you can’t do it yourself” - This is what punks mean when they say DIY. Do It Yourself. It seems strange that i have to explain this but i know for fact there are people who don’t get it.
“Punk rock does not come from the mall!” - Hot Topic. Like my friend Abby once said, “As soon as there’s a store for it, it’s not punk anymore.”
“Music to slit your wrists to” - Emo. Hopefully this trend, too, has died by the time you read this, random future person.
“I’ve got nothing nice to say” - a direct reference to the aforementioned Mitch Clem.
“Rocking the same haircut that your mommy did” - another reference to hipsters/emos. They tend to like haircuts that were popular for young girls in previous decades.
“Reference ibid” - Reference is the same. As in, i’m talking about hipsters and emos, for reference, see hipsters and emos. Not exactly what ibid means, but close enough. Lisa helped me out with this line.
“Bollocks to punk rock now” - I wanted to slip “bollocks” in there to reference punk’s British roots. Never mind the bollocks. Here’s the Sex Pistols.
Zero
Cracked open another jar of strawberry malaise
No one really wants to hear what i need to say
I’ll just keep it to myself because i know it’s safe
I’m afraid that my words would be just another waste
You know that this always makes me feel like i have died
I don’t approve the way you make me feel inside
I only wish that you could once take my side
You know that there is only one way to make me come alive
I find the taste of strawberry brings out these memories
I put this suit back into the armory
Mortality is hard to address without sounding emo
Maybe it would help if i could let you know
Zero
It’s a zero
Take me, zero
It means zero
I feel so much better now and i’m not even done
If i could forget about zero, i would just be one
I think that our little chat has been for the best
Thank you for letting me get this off my chest
Come alive
--
I don’t want people to read too much into this one. I was in a weird place when i wrote it. I really wanted to write something that addressed my own mortality, but as it turned out, that seemed pretty emo. So i thought i’d do an example of how to write a sad rock song that couldn’t be considered emo by today’s standards; at the end, THINGS GET BETTER.
“Strawberry malaise” - this is a metaphor for something, i haven’t exactly decided what. But it allowed me to use “strawberry” again in the song to reference “malaise” without having to say that word again. I love slipping big words into songs, but it would be easy to overdo it.
“I put this suit back into the armory” - Dropping my defenses. Letting someone in. Getting rid of the suit of armor.
Then there’s another jab at the emos...
I Am A Machine
I’m not going to post the lyrics or explain the references in this one, because that’s the whole point of the song. It’s one giant reference to something. Bonus points if you can figure it out by the end of the second verse.
Stay tuned for part 3...
I like to watch her score
Her score is higher than mine
It’s all in her beautiful thumbs
I’d like to take her to World 9
My princess is in this castle
Now i know that i don’t need to go through another level
Up up down down left right left right B A select start - that’s the key to her heart
Now i know that i don’t need to go to another castle
I put on her Power Glove (it’s so bad!)
And it fit just right
She took controller #1
I was her Luigi all night
Game Genie gave us infinite lives
There’s lots of co-op in our plans
When she scores, she’ll do it with me
We have an 8-bit romance
--
I think the title of this one kind of says it all. It’s a love song about a girl who’s really into the Nintendo. Although my girlfriend was always a Sega girl, and we’re both primarily Xbox players now. Nintendo just makes for such better references. I don’t think i could do a love song with Halo references.
“Her score is higher than mine” - My girlfriend’s gamerscore is higher than mine, actually. By about 2000.
“Take her to World 9” - there were only 8 worlds in the original Super Mario Bros. game. So presumably, World 9 is where you go after you rescue the princess.
Line 3 in the chorus is the Konami code. If you’re unfamiliar, you’re going to have to look this one up.
“I put on her Power Glove and it fit just right” - the rare triple entendre! First of all, there’s the actual power glove, a bizarre accessory for the NES that was actually kind of a predecessor to the Wii, but 20 years earlier. Second, it means condom. You should have gotten that one. Thirdly, as a videographer who went through a respected film school, this is also in fact a reference to the film On The Waterfront. Marlon Brando FTW!
“I put on her Power Glove (it’s so bad!)” - A reference to the film The Wizard, a film from the late 80s that was basically a 90 minute Nintendo commercial, spotlighting the Power Glove. “I love the Power Glove - it’s so bad” would go on to become an internet meme two decades later.
“She took controller #1, i was her Luigi all night” - Please tell me you get this one. If you don’t, i’m so old. In Super Mario Bros., controller #1 was Mario, #2 was Luigi. I think this was true of all of the NES Mario games except for Mario 2.
“Game Genie gave us infinite lives” - Same qualifier as above. Game Genie was an add-on that would allow you to input cheat codes before you even accessed the game, most commonly stuff like infinite lives. This is also a metaphor for marriage, or something like it.
“We have an 8-bit romance” - The original Nintendo system had an 8-bit processor. That may not even mean anything to the kids these days... In the old days of gaming (read: the 90s), systems were made or broken by the bits in their processors. Nintendo even spotlighted its huge processor with the Nintendo 64, which had (surprise!) a 64-bit processor.
Punk Rock Now
There’s too much water in the Kool-Aid and it kind of tastes like crap
All the hipsters are asking their doctors to smear them for pap
We’re part of Generation Poser - there’s not much left to say
The last original song is already brittle and gray
It’s like i’m drowning in this Kool-Aid, and it kind of tastes like filth
Since when does punk rock have to do with wealth?
If you can’t do it yourself, don’t do it at all
Punk rock does not come from the mall
Here in this punk rock now
Music to slit your wrists to don’t appeal to me
If i cannot enjoy it, it doesn’t fill my needs
Yeah, i’ve got nothing nice to say about the emo kids
But that’s probably exactly the way that they want this
I see you rocking the same haircut that your mommy did
When she was 15, living at home, reference ibid
It’s not a question of your generation
It’s interference from corporations
Here in this punk rock now
Forget your punk rock now
Crap on your punk rock now
Bollocks to punk rock now
Fuck your punk rock
--
This song is largely about Hot Topic, and such. The manufacture of punk bands for a pop audience has bothered many for a long time. Punk used to be a genuine, underground, DIY movement, and then it got subsidized. I think it reached a nadir in the mid-00s, when i was watching TV and a fucking commercial came on for a band of 14 year olds dressed in leather with mohawks, doing music that could only be considered punk in its simple chord arrangements. They were called Detention or some such thing, i’m not really sure, i just remember it was a reference to getting in trouble at your middle school.
“There’s too much water in the Kool-Aid” - You know how that goes. Here, the Kool-Aid means punk culture, and there’s too much Simple Plan in it.
“All the hipster boys are asking their doctors to smear them for pap” - I’m hoping this is being read somewhere in the far future, where hipsters have been forgotten. It’s like Mitch Clem once said, “There’s something wrong with your scene when the easiest way to get into a girl’s pants is to get into girl pants.”
“Since when does punk rock have to do with wealth?” - SELLOUTZ
“If you can’t do it yourself” - This is what punks mean when they say DIY. Do It Yourself. It seems strange that i have to explain this but i know for fact there are people who don’t get it.
“Punk rock does not come from the mall!” - Hot Topic. Like my friend Abby once said, “As soon as there’s a store for it, it’s not punk anymore.”
“Music to slit your wrists to” - Emo. Hopefully this trend, too, has died by the time you read this, random future person.
“I’ve got nothing nice to say” - a direct reference to the aforementioned Mitch Clem.
“Rocking the same haircut that your mommy did” - another reference to hipsters/emos. They tend to like haircuts that were popular for young girls in previous decades.
“Reference ibid” - Reference is the same. As in, i’m talking about hipsters and emos, for reference, see hipsters and emos. Not exactly what ibid means, but close enough. Lisa helped me out with this line.
“Bollocks to punk rock now” - I wanted to slip “bollocks” in there to reference punk’s British roots. Never mind the bollocks. Here’s the Sex Pistols.
Zero
Cracked open another jar of strawberry malaise
No one really wants to hear what i need to say
I’ll just keep it to myself because i know it’s safe
I’m afraid that my words would be just another waste
You know that this always makes me feel like i have died
I don’t approve the way you make me feel inside
I only wish that you could once take my side
You know that there is only one way to make me come alive
I find the taste of strawberry brings out these memories
I put this suit back into the armory
Mortality is hard to address without sounding emo
Maybe it would help if i could let you know
Zero
It’s a zero
Take me, zero
It means zero
I feel so much better now and i’m not even done
If i could forget about zero, i would just be one
I think that our little chat has been for the best
Thank you for letting me get this off my chest
Come alive
--
I don’t want people to read too much into this one. I was in a weird place when i wrote it. I really wanted to write something that addressed my own mortality, but as it turned out, that seemed pretty emo. So i thought i’d do an example of how to write a sad rock song that couldn’t be considered emo by today’s standards; at the end, THINGS GET BETTER.
“Strawberry malaise” - this is a metaphor for something, i haven’t exactly decided what. But it allowed me to use “strawberry” again in the song to reference “malaise” without having to say that word again. I love slipping big words into songs, but it would be easy to overdo it.
“I put this suit back into the armory” - Dropping my defenses. Letting someone in. Getting rid of the suit of armor.
Then there’s another jab at the emos...
I Am A Machine
I’m not going to post the lyrics or explain the references in this one, because that’s the whole point of the song. It’s one giant reference to something. Bonus points if you can figure it out by the end of the second verse.
Stay tuned for part 3...
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