Black Friday Shenanigans

Happy Cyber Monday, everybody! I had never heard of Cyber Monday until this past Black Friday. I guess it's been going on for about ten years now, which i had figured just from hearing the name. I mean, you can tell something's from the bygone era of the 90s when it's got the word "cyber" right there in the name like that.

So i managed to dodge most of the Black Friday bullets this year. I didn't get pepper sprayed; i wasn't left for dead on the floor at Target; and according to employees at the Wal-Mart i showed up at ten minutes after open, i narrowly missed a riot over Xbox games. Seriously, i got there at 10:10, wandered around for fifteen minutes without finding a single Xbox game except the random crappy ones abandoned by people who rethought their selections, and then asked an employee, who told me that two pallets of Xbox games disappeared in under five minutes, and there was a riot. Man, if that doesn't restore your faith in humanity, what will, right?

Once i got in line at Wal-Mart, i decided it would be a good idea to start texting updates of my Black Friday adventures to Amanda. She, sadly, had to work until midnight, which she had scheduled at the beginning of the year, anticipating having a couple hours after work to go get in a line somewhere. Once she found out, a couple weeks ago, that stores would be opening more around midnight or earlier, in the cases of Wal-Mart and Toys-R-Us, she was pretty righteously pissed. So anyway, that's the kind of person i thought it would be a brilliant idea to shoot updates to.

Keep in mind, also, that i had to be at work at 2:30AM, and it's a half hour drive from Best Buy to work. Hitting Best Buy at midnight when they opened hadn't seemed like a bad idea at the time...

10:10PM: Arrived at Wal-Mart

10:43: In checkout line, sweaty and irritated

10:52: A lady hands me a free 5 Hour Energy. The day may yet be survivable.

10:57: Turns out the line isn't straight. Goddammit.

11:00: Line forks. Hope i made the right choice!

11:06: Checking out!

11:08: Out of Walmart!

11:22: Arrival at Best Buy

11:26: The line is almost to the far corner of Kohl's. Considering giving up. Saw [a friend]. [here's a map.]

11:31:



11:39: Recall Walker petition comes down the line!

11:48: Best Buy line now stretches almost to Panera [again, see map]


11:54: Kohl's opens. No Best Buy movement as yet.

11:59: Movement!

12:07: Almost to the front of the building now. There are still people standing where i started.

12:11: In the store!

12:43: In the checkout line...three quarters of the store clockwise from the registers...

12:43: I'm at the Apple kiosk, and the line wraps around the wholewhole.

12:49: *whole store. Your call screwed up my texting.

1:00: Just heard that the line now stretches to the entrance.

1:15: I am at a preorder station for Halo 4, a game which does not come out for 13 months yet.

1:21: Justin Bieber singing toothbrush >.<

1:42: I am shunned by refrigerators.


1:54: Fortress of appliances.


1:58:


2:03: In the home stretch!

2:06: At a register!

2:09: Fresh air!!! Also the cops are here.