I'm so tired. But for some reason, i'm feeling the need to fire off a quick blog post about Elly Jackson's teeth before i go to bed.
Who?, you may find yourself asking. I'm glad you asked.
Elly Jackson is the vocal end of British synthpop band La Roux. I know...for a high school metalhead, turned 20something punk, i sure do listen to a lot of dance pop. Sooner or later i'll actually post my dissertation on how t.A.T.u.'s discography are concept albums that function as a logical trilogy. I've been thinking about it for months. But anyway, back to La Roux.
I hate when i go to the gym and forget my iPod. I don't know what gyms are like in your area, but the gigantic health club i go to here in Madison plays utter shit music over their soundsystem constantly. I mean Nickelback. I mean Kelly Clarkson. And i most certainly mean Katy Perry. You are almost guaranteed to hear both Firework and Teenage Dream every hour at my gym. I'm fairly certain that they've got about forty songs that they play on a constant loop, and it's not even the current Top 40. Maybe i should be thankful for that.
But anyway, recently they've added the song Bulletproof to their repertoire. I found it to be a breath of fresh air, something enjoyable for a change. But since i had only ever heard it at the gym, i didn't know who or what it was, and this was very disappointing to me. So in the end, i have to say, thank god for Spotify.
This blog is veering wildly off topic, but i think i'm ok with that. I probably don't have as much to say about Elly Jackson's teeth, specifically, as i had previously thought.
Spotify, from its inception, seemed a little scary to me. It's like Grooveshark, but it tells everybody on Facebook what you're listening to all the time. Which is how i busted my buddy Dan listening to Michael Jackson. And Josh listening to Hanson. I didn't make either of those situations up. I don't want people seeing what i'm listening to all the time. I'm friends with members of numerous punk bands on Facebook. If they knew how much Lady Gaga i really listen to, things would get weird. Plus, Spotify plays ads after every few songs, something that Grooveshark never did. On another tangent, Grooveshark recently started doing something almost more annoying. But i'm not witing about that right now.
I hadn't been to the gym in a while and i kept trying to think of what that song i liked was, and couldn't come up with it. I got back to the gym last night, hoping to hear that song, so that i could pick out some lyrics and Google them when i got home, but it wasn't played during my entire workout. I'd like to look at things in the "sooner or later it'll play during my workout" light, but i'd really rather not torture myself with that much Katy Perry waiting around for it.
Luckily, this morning, i saw on the FB that my friend Jeri had recently listened to a song called Bulletproof. The name, La Roux, seemed unlikely, but a quick YouTube search and, lo!
God damn, how have i typed so many words without coming to a point? I knew those Long Islands at Applebee's were a mistake.
Anyway, despite the fact that this video looks more 80s than the 80s did, and the fact that Elly Jackson looks 15 (actually 24, if Wikipedia is to be believed), and the fact that she seems largely disinterested (and simultaneously angry) while doing her singing there, this video made me very happy in ways i'm not sure i understand. I viewed a few more La Roux videos before Bob walked in on me, startling my dogs and destroying my street cred, but her expression seems about the same in all of them. But what really struck me is her teeth, and how prominent they are in the video.
I love that they're completely uneven. I'm frankly sick of our American packaged pop stars being plastic Barbie dolls with faker facial expressions (see: Katy Perry) and their perfect goddamn teeth. Elly Jackson's teeth have personality. Maybe it's just because she's British, but i think that La Roux's success in America really goes to show how unnecessary the extensive oral cosmetic surgery done on our pop stars is. It makes them homogenous, disingenuous, and boring to look at. Frankly.
Not to mention unrealistic. Maybe i just really like Elly Jackson's teeth because her bottom teeth are just like my top teeth. I've never felt a need to correct them, either; i had an orthodontist appointment about it once when i thought they were actually damaging my inner lip, but that's it. My only consideration for braces was purely function over form.
But here's the weird thing, and the reason i felt inclined to write out a whole blog about this. I felt it was important to say something supportive of Elly Jackson's teeth, even though i know she'll never read it and it will in no way influence anyone anywhere. So, with those criteria, i was going to make a Facebook post that said, simply, "I love Elly Jackson's teeth," but i thought it would sound sarcastic. Anything i could add to that (that would also be appropriate for a Facebook status) would only compound the problem: "I love Elly Jackson's teeth because they're so crooked." "I love Elly Jackson's teeth because they're imperfect." Even "I love Elly Jackson's teeth because they have character" felt like it could be misconstrued as an insult. I feel pretty badly about this. I've been raised into a world where making fun of someone's appearance is considered acceptable and is expected. And, of course, when you make fun of someone, you can expect a backlash, if not from that person, from either their supporters or people who have a similar appearance. I was worried that my posting "I love Elly Jackson's teeth" may cause offense to a close friend with bad teeth (i have no specific close friend with bad teeth in mind; i didn't think of anyone specific, i simply considered the scenario. So if you thought that that sentence was offensive because i was saying you have bad teeth, then...wait, wait a minute. Actually, if you're reading that much into it, go fuck yourself).
The point is, none of this should even have crossed my mind in the first place. It's weird and ridiculous and i shouldn't even be thinking about these things. Especially this late at night and after all the drinking.
Anyway, i love Elly Jackson's teeth. For real.
Who?, you may find yourself asking. I'm glad you asked.
Elly Jackson is the vocal end of British synthpop band La Roux. I know...for a high school metalhead, turned 20something punk, i sure do listen to a lot of dance pop. Sooner or later i'll actually post my dissertation on how t.A.T.u.'s discography are concept albums that function as a logical trilogy. I've been thinking about it for months. But anyway, back to La Roux.
I hate when i go to the gym and forget my iPod. I don't know what gyms are like in your area, but the gigantic health club i go to here in Madison plays utter shit music over their soundsystem constantly. I mean Nickelback. I mean Kelly Clarkson. And i most certainly mean Katy Perry. You are almost guaranteed to hear both Firework and Teenage Dream every hour at my gym. I'm fairly certain that they've got about forty songs that they play on a constant loop, and it's not even the current Top 40. Maybe i should be thankful for that.
But anyway, recently they've added the song Bulletproof to their repertoire. I found it to be a breath of fresh air, something enjoyable for a change. But since i had only ever heard it at the gym, i didn't know who or what it was, and this was very disappointing to me. So in the end, i have to say, thank god for Spotify.
This blog is veering wildly off topic, but i think i'm ok with that. I probably don't have as much to say about Elly Jackson's teeth, specifically, as i had previously thought.
Spotify, from its inception, seemed a little scary to me. It's like Grooveshark, but it tells everybody on Facebook what you're listening to all the time. Which is how i busted my buddy Dan listening to Michael Jackson. And Josh listening to Hanson. I didn't make either of those situations up. I don't want people seeing what i'm listening to all the time. I'm friends with members of numerous punk bands on Facebook. If they knew how much Lady Gaga i really listen to, things would get weird. Plus, Spotify plays ads after every few songs, something that Grooveshark never did. On another tangent, Grooveshark recently started doing something almost more annoying. But i'm not witing about that right now.
I hadn't been to the gym in a while and i kept trying to think of what that song i liked was, and couldn't come up with it. I got back to the gym last night, hoping to hear that song, so that i could pick out some lyrics and Google them when i got home, but it wasn't played during my entire workout. I'd like to look at things in the "sooner or later it'll play during my workout" light, but i'd really rather not torture myself with that much Katy Perry waiting around for it.
Luckily, this morning, i saw on the FB that my friend Jeri had recently listened to a song called Bulletproof. The name, La Roux, seemed unlikely, but a quick YouTube search and, lo!
God damn, how have i typed so many words without coming to a point? I knew those Long Islands at Applebee's were a mistake.
Anyway, despite the fact that this video looks more 80s than the 80s did, and the fact that Elly Jackson looks 15 (actually 24, if Wikipedia is to be believed), and the fact that she seems largely disinterested (and simultaneously angry) while doing her singing there, this video made me very happy in ways i'm not sure i understand. I viewed a few more La Roux videos before Bob walked in on me, startling my dogs and destroying my street cred, but her expression seems about the same in all of them. But what really struck me is her teeth, and how prominent they are in the video.
I love that they're completely uneven. I'm frankly sick of our American packaged pop stars being plastic Barbie dolls with faker facial expressions (see: Katy Perry) and their perfect goddamn teeth. Elly Jackson's teeth have personality. Maybe it's just because she's British, but i think that La Roux's success in America really goes to show how unnecessary the extensive oral cosmetic surgery done on our pop stars is. It makes them homogenous, disingenuous, and boring to look at. Frankly.
Not to mention unrealistic. Maybe i just really like Elly Jackson's teeth because her bottom teeth are just like my top teeth. I've never felt a need to correct them, either; i had an orthodontist appointment about it once when i thought they were actually damaging my inner lip, but that's it. My only consideration for braces was purely function over form.
But here's the weird thing, and the reason i felt inclined to write out a whole blog about this. I felt it was important to say something supportive of Elly Jackson's teeth, even though i know she'll never read it and it will in no way influence anyone anywhere. So, with those criteria, i was going to make a Facebook post that said, simply, "I love Elly Jackson's teeth," but i thought it would sound sarcastic. Anything i could add to that (that would also be appropriate for a Facebook status) would only compound the problem: "I love Elly Jackson's teeth because they're so crooked." "I love Elly Jackson's teeth because they're imperfect." Even "I love Elly Jackson's teeth because they have character" felt like it could be misconstrued as an insult. I feel pretty badly about this. I've been raised into a world where making fun of someone's appearance is considered acceptable and is expected. And, of course, when you make fun of someone, you can expect a backlash, if not from that person, from either their supporters or people who have a similar appearance. I was worried that my posting "I love Elly Jackson's teeth" may cause offense to a close friend with bad teeth (i have no specific close friend with bad teeth in mind; i didn't think of anyone specific, i simply considered the scenario. So if you thought that that sentence was offensive because i was saying you have bad teeth, then...wait, wait a minute. Actually, if you're reading that much into it, go fuck yourself).
The point is, none of this should even have crossed my mind in the first place. It's weird and ridiculous and i shouldn't even be thinking about these things. Especially this late at night and after all the drinking.
Anyway, i love Elly Jackson's teeth. For real.
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