Black Friday

Frankly, i'm rather surprised that more people haven't made that connection.

I am, of course, talking about this post's title, as it is a reference to Rebecca Black's horrendous monstrosity and crime against music (or, in a broader sense, ears), Friday. If you've spent the last few weeks in solitary confinement or don't have internet access, by all means, watch this thing on YouTube. In fact, it's gotten so bad that if you go to YouTube and simply type "r" in the search field, this is the first result. At the time of this writing, it has 89,654,549 fucking views. In the perspective of how many views the average YouTube video gets, that is several veritable assloads.

When this pile of crap was first thrust upon me by my sadistic, evil associate Christi (also known as "Satan" or "Beelzebub"), my reaction was that it was so horrible i couldn't even joke about it. It's an assault against all that was good and holy.

From my Facebook, March 19, 2011:

I've long held that One Of Us by Joan Osborn was the worst song in the history of recorded music. Then Train released Hey Soul Sister and i had to reassess that belief. But it turns out neither of those is really that bad. Because it turns out this was not a joke: (link)

I could write an entire thesis about why this song is awful.

And i probably will. Because dear god, there is so much wrong here. So. Much.

I kept waiting for it to turn out to be a joke, like Lonely Island was going to pop out of the background or something, but it was like waiting for a punchline that never came.

i mean, "We we we so excited." REALLY?

Ark Studios must be destroyed with fire.

That was the original post, plus five comments i made within two minutes. I wish i had saved the chat window from the conversation i had with Christi/Satan while i was watching it. I kept posting my thoughts as the video dragged through its duration, MST3K-style. Stuff like, "Jesus Christ, is that USHER?!?!" I was too angry to be witty.

After that, i went home and showed it to Amanda. That's when i started laughing, because i was watching her face while she watched it. From there, i started showing it to other friends, and by the end of the day, i was responsible for five of the (at the time) 30 million views.

In short, Friday has become the new 2 Girls 1 Cup. You show it to your friends to get reactions, and their reactions are hilarious. So while The Onion's article about Rebecca Black getting rich off of our hatred for her had initially just made me angrier, i've come to grips with it.

In fact, i believe that she deserves every dollar she makes off of that video. Because frankly, there are comedians and comedy movie makers who have made far more money off of things that have not made me laugh nearly this hard. While the music itself is shit, and the video itself is shit, the spirit of the thing is so god damned funny that i just keep making jokes about it, and hearing jokes about it, and laughing so hard that sometimes, i excrete urine.

Plus, stuff like this parody happens, and you just couldn't have that without the original.

So i want to say thank you, Rebecca Black, for making life a little more surreal and a little more lighthearted and funny. Now if you could just stop taking yourself so seriously, we'd be golden.

Thanks for the laughs, Rebecca! Let's not ruin it by making another song, huh?